honeyisfunny is a perceptive man. Today I stumbled across a blog post of his from some months back. He made the title of the post a link, which prevents me from linking directly to it but I’ve copied it here for you in its entirity:
“Transcript of text message conversation between myself and friend prior to last Friday’s Stage Blood gig in The London:
14.14
Rachel: ”Do you know what time you’re playing later?”
14.15
Me: ”I think we are second so half nine I would guess? Its all a bit vague though we are absolutely ready to rock so do come along”
14.16
Rachel: ”I’m trying to, promised to do 2 other things already so sorting out order to do them in”
19.26
Rachel: ”Any update on time? Trying to work out if it’s worth me doing my “before” thing.”
19.26
Me (by now stuck deep in London traffic in the van): ”Not there yet. Of course its worth it. We’ve driven from scotland!”
19.27
Rachel: ”I meant the pre-gig thing. What’s the door tax?”
19.30
Me: ”No idea I am afraid. Not much of a clue about anything apart from our rockness”
20.13
Rachel: ”Any news on times?”
20.13
Me: ”We are on at 9.30″
20.20
Rachel: ”Oh Crap. Is there a chance of running late? We always put folk on at least quarter of an hour after we say we will, so hoping other people are the same…”
20.31
Me: ”A little bit late yes. It’s 4 quid. Now stop texting me and get ready to go out. Get andy to drive!”
20.33
Rachel: ”Andy’s gone out somewhere else and i’d have to leave the house 10 ins ago to get there on time”
20.33
Me: ”Get on with it then!”
20.35
Rachel: ”Think I may have to crap out”
20.42
Rachel: ”Balls. Tried anyway. Just missed bus. It’s 12 mins to the next one and an hour once I’m on it so i should arrive just as you’re finishing. Therefore I shall fuck off to the work thing I was planning to blow off. Very sorry. I’m sure you rule.”
20.50
Me: ”After all that… If you’d spent as much time getting ready as you did texting me…”
20.51
Rachel: ”Well you know, i’m a twat, what can i say?”
To conclude: if you feel like repeating any aspect of this text message nightmare with me (or in fact anyone, anywhere, in any band in a van stressing to get to any gig on time) then here is the default answer:
“I don’t know when we’re on. It starts at 8.30 like most gigs and it’s not more than £6.”
